‘It’s better to be hurt by the truth than to be told a comforting lie’

Published on 9 March 2021 at 20:13

‘It’s better to be hurt by the truth than to be told a comforting lie’


Sometimes I have to tell people the opposite of what they want to hear. That’s not easy. Because I know that it will be dissapointing.

Sometimes I get a very angry response. It’s hard when you’ve made a picture in your head and a psychic tells you that it’s not going to be that way. From a human point of view I fully understand. We’ve all been there: we want something or someone and the fact that this is not going happen can be heart breaking. We don’t want to let go of the pretty picture that we made in our head.


One of the reasons why I love my Guides so much is that they always bring options, other routes to solve problems and to guide you to where want to go. But when someone is really stuck and not open to other options, it’s hard to get them to listen to what the Guides are saying. They only see their way and are inflexible or blind to reconsider or even listen to the option of a different approach. Even when another approach is better.   

I’ve spoken to many people who fell in love with someone they’ve met on the internet. Sometimes it IS real love. And sometimes it’s fake. It’s awful when you are talking to someone online who is not who you think he or she is. 

Sometimes people get angry and shoot the messenger when they hear that the person they are waiting for (sometimes for many years) is not going to leave his or her relationship. Sometimes people DO leave their relationship and sometimes they don’t. Every situation, every story is different. The sooner you know the truth, the better. It’s such a shame to spend all these months, years hoping for something that will not happen. And when someone leaves their relationship, it’s good to know that you are not waiting in vain.

A husband and wife came to my office for a reading, they had questions about their son. He was very good at a particular sport and his coach said he saw an opportunity that he would one day get into the Olympic team. She wanted to know when her son would join the Olympic team. I focused on their son and my guides said he was very talented, but at some point he would lose interest in training so many hours every day. He would continue this sport, but not at a professional level. They described the (beautiful) path he would walk and that did not include the Olympic Games. This path would bring him good luck, success and love.

If looks could kill I would be six feet under by now. The woman was furious with what I said, this is not what she wanted to hear. Her husband said that the most important thing for him was that his son is happy no matter what path he takes. I felt he really meant that.That is the difference between conditional and unconditional love.

If you experience love with conditions, it means that you have to act a certain way, or do certain things to make the other person happy. It is never your job to be responsible for the happiness of another: that is their responsibility. When you experience unconditional love, you feel that you can be who you are, do whatever you want without being judged. This son has to make his mother happy by being on the Olympic team, even if he doesn't want to. That is conditional love and the perfect recipe to grow a unhealthy relationship with your child.

A man came for a mediumship reading. He wanted contact with his deceased wife. He said and I quote: ‘I demand contant with her’. I closed my eyes and focused on my guides to establish the contact. I started to feel a very loving and kind energy. His wife was so kind and soft in her energy. She had a lot to say.

She shared how she saw - now that she could review her life - that she put everyone first throughout her life and that she put herself last. That she had not seized the opportunity to develop and show her many talents. She wasn't sad about it, she talked about being aware of this now. When she was alive, she thought it was normal to put herself last because her mother did the same. She explained the patterns and she spoke with so much wisdom.

She shared how happy she was to be reunited with her father, whom she missed so much on Earth. She gave his first name and also the first name of her grandfather who was also present in the room. She spoke of how happy she was on the other side and relieved of her sick and aching body.  

All this time I had my eyes closed. I opened my eyes and the man shook his head No. He breathed heavily through his nose, his nostrils wide open. He was so furious with her and me. He said this was not his wife I spoke to, impossible. He said to his wife before he came to me that he demanded proof that she is still here and that she would help him deal with his grief. He said; she's only talking about herself and that's not the woman I know. Doesn't she care how awful I feel?

His wife answered to me;

he asked me to turn the lights on and off and I did, almost every day and on demand. How much proof does he need? I told him what she said and I loved her answer. Yes, he agreed that the lights seemed to have a life of their own, but he said he wanted more proof. She pointed to his watch and said, I'm glad you're wearing it. The man replied that she bought that watch for him. He was still so angry, his neck was full of red spots.

I was so happy for her to be able to talk about herself and her feelings. I felt she barely did this when she was alive and now she had the chance. But he was not happy with the insights she had gained about herself. He didn't want to pay for the reading and he walked away in anger. He was her centerpiece all these years and he couldn't accept her drawing attention to herself. Love with conditions.  

And then there is the opposite. People who want to hear the guides' opinion to find out if they are still on the right track, that it is in accordance with what they feel in their hearts. They are interested in how to grow as a person and as a soul. They are not angry with the world around them. They also understand that there is always a very good reason when things don't go the way they want. That something or someone comes into their lives that works out much better than they can now know.

This is by far the largest group, it is about 95% of the people who come to read. And I'm glad it's 95% because dealing with people who blame others for their lives gone bad and don't accept what's going on isn't easy. They have a long way to go to be in sync with receiving guidance and living the life that will make them happy. I never know in advance how anyone will respond to the answers I give. I never say what people want to hear. I know it's better to be hurt by the truth than to hear a reassuring lie.

With love,